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Monday, January 21, 2008

I Wrote All This In 30 mins, FRICKING AMAZING!

Kevin Tanawong

Mr. Savage

Christian Leadership, Period 1

22 January, 2008

The Autobiography of the Most Interesting Man in the World

            I am the most interesting man in the world, not because of what I’ve done or who I am, but simply due to the fact that every man is the most interesting man in the world. We all are the most interesting men in the world, no not because we are all “a beautiful and unique snowflake”, but because we can believe ourselves to be so different when we are exponentially more similar than we are distinct. You may be able to connect with me because you were born in Santa Monica on June 20, 1990. Or perhaps you might see yourself in me because you too are the youngest in your family with two older sisters. Maybe you share a similar relationship to your older siblings as I do; where their experience and knowledge serves as supplemental teachings to the reality you live every day. Possibly you join me as part of the alumnus of Cross and Crown, Vanderlyn, St. John Eudes, Magnolia Science Academy, or even Notre Dame. But that should not interest you in me, you should be interested in who I am because I am fundamentally and scientifically a different person from you, but still even more so the same. Sadly, even after I say all this you still want to know and maybe you ask in order to help me reinforce what I think to know is Kevin Gawin Joseph Jung Ang Jeen Vichairattanawong Wu Lom.

            The process of learning to know myself has been minutely affected by my situation, but actually centralized by the situations I have experienced. The most impacting event in my childhood was moving back to Los Angeles. My family moved from Los Angeles to Atlanta when I was less than a year old, and throughout my stay in Atlanta I was quiet. I made friends and was happy, but I found no purpose in talking excessively. I was comfortable with who and where I was, but then I was forced to move. Los Angeles was my birthplace but everything was foreign. I was excited for the change, but even to this day I think of all the things I’ve missed to see back in Atlanta. Living up to my father’s famous words, “It is what it is.” And my mother’s philosophy, “Rejoice with what you have and despair the fact that not everyone share’s your same good fortune”, I broke out of my silence and began frequently speaking. Me losing everything I knew forced me to realize that it did not really matter what I had before and I started wanting to learn about everyone else and I did so through making new friendships. All the way up to high school, my teachers dreaded my constant interferences with their class plans. My classmates always wanted to talk to me as much as I wanted to talk to them. Maybe my charm is a gift but I have seen the many ways it can work as a curse as well. I had always known that my family loved me, but I did not see their reason to other than a blood bond. I needed to explore my relation to others while being blind to the genetic bonds that forcibly bind us. I had a mission and it was love, hormones fueled me and ignorance intrigued me to the L word. I still remember the way she looks, Megan Chong. She was my first love and my first girlfriend; I still define love in relation to the way I felt while I was with her. I was in sixth grade and she was in seventh grade when we met. Constant trips to the mall provided me opportunity and the teen movies I grew up watching with Amaree, my older sister, showed me how it was “supposed” to be done. Megan made everything so exciting and she intrigued me by her experience and life seemed so wondrous when we talked on the phone for hours not remembering the topic of three minutes ago, made every weekend trip to the mall a new and exciting adventure, and every movie trailer a calendar for our next movie date. Megan’s ability to make every part of my life, even the most painful parts, worth experiencing is the way I’ve come to define love. Megan taught me love just as Los Angeles taught me adventure, and everything I’ve learned to be real to me has made me who I am.

            My personal experiences are not the sole foundation of my learning; I have found that I can relate to people’s experiences without explicitly being a part of them. Through art, I have occasionally found even more of myself than in what I have actually accomplished. My favorite work of art is the film, Driving Miss Daisy. A part from the heartwarming story, the underlying message of people changing as easily as seasons do is what really affected me. The film has taught me to be indiscriminate in my relationships, and my grade school teachers have always been impressed by my blind eyes to people. I’ve always seen people as people no matter their past, their culture, their social status, their race, or any other distinctions, and I believe I owe one of my proudest traits towards the film. I am actually drawn towards the differences I share with people and I have always wanted to change the very same differences into similarities. As a citizen in Los Angeles, it is not a rare occasion to come across someone from a foreign country or someone whose ancestors originated from a foreign country. Their ability to speak a language that I cannot is always the first thing I want to make mine as well. Foreign languages are my favorite things to study and in high school I studied Latin for three years in order to have a strong foundation in the widely used Romance languages. I am proud to say that I am fluent in English and Thai, capable of conversing in Japanese and Spanish, and have some knowledge in Korean, Latin, and French. I am not quite sure I conventionally learned any of these languages except for English and Latin, the others I have simply played with until they became natural. Learning constitutes that you are instructed, but my way of learning is making something a mannerism. You have not learned it unless you are able to use it. I can say I’ve learned about the civil war or the quadratic formula, but in all honesty I have just memorized them. Learning is the process of incorporating something into yourself and making it part of your whole. My way of learning necessitates other people to be involved and that is the only way I like it. Practicing what you think you learned with other people reinforces the ability of the subject to be a part of you. In comparison to the people I work with, I am neither wise nor smart. Until I have experienced everything someone else has, I cannot judge myself better or worse than them. If I were to judge myself without any comparison, then I would still be neither wise nor smart but simply a canvas for life to paint. I value all of the knowledge that Notre Dame has bestowed upon me during these past few years, but I think the act of learning has been more valuable to me. Learning at Notre Dame has given me the opportunity to be part of the class of 08’ and given me a community for me to connect with for four years. I have no regrets with my time at Notre Dame, because I celebrate who I am and if I changed anything about my past I may not be as satisfied with the end product.

            My education has prepared me for what lies ahead by providing me with statistics, but life is much more than comparing statistics between people. I have been participating in the restaurant hospitality business since I was twelve and I can create an array of cultural cuisines, but that does not determine how successful, influential, or promising my future will be. I predict that I will study hospitality during college and open a notable restaurant before finally settling down after opening a distinguished hotel. A prediction of what I will do hardly answers, “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” or “what do you wanna do after college?” When I begin to grow older, I want to be proud of myself and the people around me. After college, I want to do what I believe in. In the future, I want to be the person my parents are proud of; kind, gentle, intelligent, cultured, sympathetic, zealous, and dutiful. In the present, I am not proud of everything that I have become but I am quite boastful of many aspects about myself. I value my ability to influence other people, incite change, please my father’s palette, travel to foreign nations and almost completely disguise myself as a local, make friends, love, be loved, and recognize the fact that I am blessed. It is quite a long list of things to be proud of but there are so many things I envy other people for, such as; other people’s ability to act in complete confidence, commit themselves to an art, make my cooking seem like airplane food, draw everyone’s complete attention, sacrifice themselves completely for the betterment of the whole, and continue to attempt to befriend those who completely hate them. My pride and my envy, both stem from everything that has happened in my life. I believe that even mundane events such as eating toast contribute to who we are. However some events such as my near-death experience, my first heart ache, my first cooked meal, and my stay in Thailand caused more monumental changes in who I am over what I had for breakfast yesterday. Worrying about the future and forgetting the now turned into excited about the future and celebrating the now after I was caught in a near fatal car accident. Not knowing who I was without a girlfriend turned into not having a girlfriend unless she really knew who I was after my heart was broken for the first time. Searching for something to love doing turned into loving everything I can do myself after I cooked a meal by myself for the first time. Finally, rejecting where my dad is from turned into rejecting staying where my dad is now after I lived in Thailand by myself for two months. All of these things have made me who I am and taught me how to be.

            I am who I am, but I cannot be without my relation to others. I could not be me without my relationship to my ancestors and to my communities. Without a strong standing in where you are from and where you are now, you cannot begin the journey of introspection. Writing this autobiography has become another part of my journey into knowing me and the word love has been used ten times thus far. I cannot say that I am in love the way I was in love with Megan, but I know I am loved the way I loved Megan. I can see the gleam in people’s eyes especially in Sunissa, my older and mentally handicapped sister, where just my presence is needed in order to make everything worthwhile. I think out of all of the relationships I have, my relationship to Sunissa is my most highly valued. I value it so much, because it requires nothing but gives everything. I can just greet her and happiness flows out of her and infects me. Sunissa is my carpe diem; she is the reason I strive to be. And without her I could not be, the most interesting person in the world.         


Sunday, January 13, 2008

Would You Think Of Me Differently?

If you had the chance to read my feelings?

The Unchanging Days
To The Unchanging Past
The Unchanging Dream
To The Unchanging Tomorrow
And Without Changing Anything
We Will Continue To Change
Won't We?


You told me "don't go", but when I said "then let's go together." You couldn't answer. So as for me when the spring wind comes I'll be in the breeze.


My Love, Don't Cry, Show Me A Smile
I Didn't Say I Liked Seeing Tears, Did I?
My Love, it's Alright You're Not Lonely Anymore
When You're Lonely, I'm Lonely Too.
My Love. Don't Open Your Closed Eyes Just Yet, ok?
Like that, Like that, But Don't Go To Sleep
My Love
It's Not I Could Die For You But Rather I'll Live For You
Together With You, Now And Forever And Ever
If We Are Born Again, I "This" Me And You "That" You
I Will Again Say
always... always... always... always... always...


Hey
Look At The Sky
Now We're Looking At The Same Sky
If I Could Follow Those Clouds
Would It Lead To You?
I Tried Yelling Your Name Into The Sky
Did You Hear Me?
If I Could Grab Those Clouds
I Wonder
If It Would
Lead Me To Where You Are
And We Could Meet Again


Sunday, December 16, 2007

Life so far?

editted.
Too Emberassed By My Immature Thoughts.


Friday, December 22, 2006

editted.
Too Emberassed By My Immature Thoughts.


Thursday, December 14, 2006

editted.
Too Emberassed By My Immature Thoughts.



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